Gaining Perspective

As a young person, I can’t deny that there must have countless occasions where I took out the unhappiness I felt about myself out on others.  We see this happening all around us, people are usually irritable or ‘snappy’ when they are feeling unhappy within themselves.  Most of us don’t even question this, we think about those people as grumpy and we tend to avoid them because of this, after all… Who wants to spend time around someone who is constantly creating a bad atmosphere?

Well recently I haven’t been able to avoid this situation.  I met a lady who is in my Spanish class and I have spent every morning with her, five days a week for four weeks.  Not only have I noticed this woman’s negative behaviours and had time to think about why she is acting in this way, but I have also had time to reflect and think about how I have reacted to these behaviours and how I have made judgements about her in my mind and subsequently taken a disliking to her.

In almost every lesson, Val has something to complain about. She becomes sullen if the teacher corrects her and she is rude to the other students if they interrupt her (despite it being a class discussion…) She dominates the classroom and often makes small remarks if she’s unhappy about something.  She is a retired woman in a classroom with three twenty-year olds who seem to me much more mature, which makes me question what it is that makes her this way?

I came to the conclusion she must be deeply unhappy with something in her life, why else would she feel the need to complain about the most unnecessary things? I know myself that when I am worrying about something big, or when I’m angry about something, I usualy take it out on something or somone completely irrelevent.  It makes no sense, but at the same time it makes all of the sense.

My initial response to Val was of dislike. I could not help but roll my eyes and feel annoyed when each time she kicked up a fuss about something.  It was when I realised how unhappy she must be that I stopped feeling irritated.  Instead I now feel pitty towards her.  This sixty year old woman is filled with bitterness, and she has never learnt how to cope with it or challenge it. That must be a tiring and unfulfilling life, I thought.

Which is why I am so grateful, and so glad that I am challenging all of my negative thoughts as soon as they pop in to my head.  I don’t want them to stay there and become engrained in my mind.  Happy thoughts breed happier thoughts, and I only wish more people would realise this so they too could be free from bitterness and negativity.

When someone is happy it is so plain to see.  When someone is unhappy it’s also plain to see in the way they talk about themselves and to others, their actions and their opinions all stem from unhappiness, which is a dangerous slippery and hazy slope guys.

I am twenty-two, I’m not claiming that I know everything, but what I do know is that age isn’t what makes you wise. What makes you wise is knowing how to live a happy life, and how to be the truest, happiest, best version of yourself.

Happy_Lows